Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking
Bernard Baruch
I’m sure you’ve heard that successful leaders make quick decisions. And that making a slow decision or no decision is a killer for business. Both of those statements are true but a great leader does need to slow down enough to listen to his or her followers before making a decision. I challenge you to take the 5-Day Active Listening Challenge.
In Linda Hill’s 2003 classic book, “Becoming a Manager,” she writes: having the patience to listen and being a good listener were defined as critical managerial tools.
As a supervisor or leader in any capacity, you are called on to coach others. Michael Hyatt emphasizes the importance of self-awareness for leaders. His podcast is a powerful message on the importance of self-awareness. One area this awareness impacts everyone is in the field of communication. Within the area of communication, a great tool for self awareness is a personality assessment. Regardless which assessment is your favorite, you will find out how you see the world, use your talents, and communicate with others.
Click here to join me on a Discovery Call and see if my 1:1 Strengths Based Coaching is right for you.
However, it is also important that you take the time to learn about the communication styles of those who you regularly work with. Then take the time to listen and reflect back what you are hearing. Active Listening skills are critical.
ACTIVE LISTENING SKILLS
There are a number of components that are included in the cycle of active listening.
Pay Attention
The first component of active listening is Pay Attention. There’s some research that suggests that we only retain about 50% of what we hear. However, using active listening skills, we can increase that percentage. How often, when you are talking to someone, are you trying to multi-task? Or do you catch yourself thinking about something else that needs to get done? You can’t effectively listen when you are disengaged in the conversation.
A secondary element of paying attention is giving your listener the verbal and nonverbal cues that you are focused on the conversation. These include the “ummm-hmmm” and “oh?” and “I see” etc., that you naturally use when you are engaged in listening to someone else. Eye contact and nodding are nonverbal cues that you may use.
Request Clarification
The second component of active listening is Request Clarification. Ask for clarification, ask the speaker to repeat what they said. This allows you to make sure you are engaged in the conversation and that you actually understand what they are saying. You may try statement/question combinations like, “I’m not sure I understand what you are saying. Do you mean….?” or “I don’t think I follow you. Could you say that again?”
Another clarification of active listening can be repeating back to the speaker: either merely repeating back to the speaker what they said or stating what you think you heard.
Summarize
The third component of active listening is Summarize. If you can repeat the key theme that you heard when you were listening, the speaker feels heard. This also helps clarify responsibilities and tasks if the discussion revolved around that. Summarizing helps each person understand their role moving forward.
Practice Makes Perfect
It is hard to develop any new skill. And, active listening is a new skill for most of us. The more you practice, the better you will become and the more natural it’ll feel.
5-Day Challenge
This is a simple (but not necessarily easy) workweek challenge. Each day choose a different element of active listening to focus on. Write a note on a sticky, make a reminder in your phone, write it on your white board, etc. Do something to make it top of mind each day of the week. I’m giving you the challenge starting on Monday. I’ll be doing a Facebook Live every day next week to review the challenge. Pop in and let me know how you are doing.
- Monday: Focus on nonverbals — eye contact and nodding
- Tuesday: Focus on giving your listener the “umm-hmms,” “yeahs” and etc.
- Wednesday: Focus on Requesting Clarification
- Thursday: Focus on Re-stating
- Friday: Focus on summarizing
If you take the challenge, let me know. How did it go? What did you learn? Was it difficult? How can I support you in becoming a better active listener?